If this mess were up to me

I don't know myself, not today. And i am afraid of tomorrow. Tomorrow as in the next day. I wanna fight but i'm afraid to fight. Curling myself up like this isn't gonna help and i know that for a fact. The drive i just had helped a little. But the effect was very minimal, because i still feel uneasy. If it helps, i'll shut up for your sake, and i've begun to. Because i know i've apologized one too many times before. Apologizing is so me, and it's not you. We have our parts to play, maybe it's my turn to not try to keep up. Whatever it is, this is not helping me, not even a little bit. Not at all.

I've had better days, nothing went my way today. NOTHING. And i am aware that things can't always be perfect, but how do you perceive perfect? Tell me.

All my life, my friends are my strongest assets. I've treasured them and make efforts in trying to make the best of my relationship with them. I try to not let anything get in the way. I confide in them with anything, anything at all. I've tried my best to stay on their best sides. With hopes they'll try to be on mine. But it's all so easy for me to say when differences in opinions exist. I can't ignore them whenever i witness that they're in trouble. I swear I will try to stop you in jumping off the edge, but i'll not jump with you. I have made mistakes in the past, mistakes i wish i had never done. But I did commit them, and i know that's all that matters.

If i've hurt you in any way, i'm sorry. I know Ive stated in the opening of this post to not apologize. But I did say 'maybe'. If it's worth anything, I am. Whatever it is, you know you can confide in me.

FOOTBALL IS NOT FUN WHEN.....:

1) You've had a bad day.

2) You pick up an injury.

3) You'd rather pick smoking over it.

4) Your friends tackle with intent.

5)and You see them just walk away pretending nothing ever happened.


It takes 2 to start a fire, but you're alone. I AM A COWARD WHEN IT COMES TO MY FRIENDS. And that's the only thing that you've been.

I'm not feeling lucky. Not one bit.